love hearts and battle scars
by duckmadgirl
Summary: molly returns from her latest tour shaken and traumatised . can captain James help her through what is scaring her help her over come her nightmares. I do not own any of the characters all rights remain with the bbc and tony grounds. DEDICATED TO ALL WOMAN PAST AND PRESENT IN THE ARMED FORCES ON THE 100TH ANNEVERSERY OF WOMAN BEING ALLOWED IN TO THE MILATRY
1. Chapter 1

Molly sat on the plane , looking around at all the faces each one of them finding something to occupy their time, listing to music, writing letters or reading books and magazines. Someone passed around a box of chocolates but by the time it reached molly there was only the orange crèmes and strawberry crunches which molly didn't like and she was too tired to dig to the bottom of the box to find out if there were any others hiding. Others at the far end of the seats were laughing and joking at some thing one of them had read.

She lent back in her seat, her French Platt falling out and all over the place, but she was to exhausted to care and it would only fall out again. The tour had been long and tiring. Straining on all involved. She allowed her eyes to droop close and sleep was not far behind

Molly's eyes shot open she was sat in a truck in the middle of the afghan desert. It had suddenly stopped they all alighted gathering their equipment and standing guard. The air was clear and the aromatic spices from the nearby village were wafting in on the breeze. Something wasn't right everyone including several locals were on edge, as per the instructions of her commanding officer molly was waiting by the truck whilst several of the others went to investigate what the problem was.

Suddenly there was a explosion that was loud and close by, it caused a huge dust cloud hit all that were waiting in the shield of the truck. Dust and sand went everywhere. In her eyes and mouth blinding her for a short moment. The sound of the blast has slightly deafened her for a moment but she could still hear cries for help. As she tried to move she found she couldn't her legs were glued to the spot. As the dust cloud she could see people really needed her help most with horrific wounds and some sadly dead. She could hear some one calling her name.

"molly... molly ...molly" it was a male voice and she felt a shake on her shoulder...

Her eyes opened with a start. She looked around they were moving everyone were sat in their seats on the plane it had been a dream it wasn't real

"are you alright Dawsey you seemed to be shouting a lot in your sleep

"I am fine I do sometimes talk in my sleep" she lied.

"fair enough dawsey we should be at Brize soon"

20 minuets later molly walked in to the arrivals hall at Brize Norton which was full of the joy of the families waiting to greet and welcome there loved ones home. She could see Charles was waiting for her. She dropped her bag to the floor and he enveloped her in to a hug.

"Hey. Good tour?" he asked

"Hi" she wriggled out of his arms "can we just go, I am knackered"

Charles smiled at her and kissed her on the forehead. "come on then" he picked up her bag and she followed him out to the car.

The drive back to Bath was long and was hindered by the busy traffic from the bank holiday weekend and the usual road works that popped up when people wanted to escape for a few days.

Molly drummed her fingers on the arm of the door in frustration. In the 40 minuets they had been in this particular traffic jam they had only managed to move several hundred yards.

"you okay Dawsey" Charles asked turning to look at her. She looked shattered and there was something in her eyes something had changed it was worrying her.

"fine" she said "I just wanna get home and 'ave a baf. I am minging with all this grime in me hair " She smiled weakly at him.

As a captain he had been trained to spot if something wasn't right with one of his men. He could see that molly was lying and hiding something from him, but he gave her the benefit of the doubt

"okay" he smiled and leaned in to kiss her.

The traffic had soon cleared and it didn't take long for them to get back in to bath.

Charles opened the door and lead molly in. Dumping her bags in the hall, the house was deathly quiet as Charles parents had gone to Lake Garda for a few weeks to see friends, so they had the house to them selves

"do you want a drink?" Charles called from the kitchen

"just a cuppa" she called back. "do you mind if I take a bath"

Charles stood at the kitchen door " you don't need to ask, ill bring your tea up in a minuet"

Shutting the door of the en suite molly ran the bath. The hot water steamed all around and she added what bubble bath she could find in to the stream of water. She made it so it was hotter than could bare she climbed in and for that instant moment she couldn't tell of the water was hot or cold. Sinking under the water she could feel it sooth her aching muscles she began to relax and unwind. She sank down so her shoulders were under the water, she winced as the hot water lapped against her ears. When Charles knocked on the door.

"molly... I'll put your tea by the bed, do you want anything to eat."

"sure... thanks" she called back

She heard the door close and Charles' footsteps going back down the stars. In the bath molly could feel her self relax and unwind. Pushing her self right under to wash her hair, which she did several times and watched as the water turned from clear to a hideous shade of brown. She lay there until the water turned cold and all the bubbles had dissolved away. She climbed out and wrapped a towel around her self and plodded in to the bedroom. Pulling out her fluffy she pulled them on and scraped her hair back in to a simple pony tail

Charles was stood at the stove as molly walked in to the kitchen. He turned to look at her.

"feeling better" he asked smiling at her and turned back to the stove

"yeah... much, what's cooking it smells good" she said wrapping her arms around his waist

"just pasta with a creamy garlic mushroom sauce" he said dividing it in to bowls and handing one to molly. He indicated for her to sit down on the one side of the island in the kitchen molly couldn't help but wolf the pasta down and have a second portion which Charles had anticipated. Once they had eaten they snuggled up in the living room and watched a film about a boy falling in love with a fallen star. About half way through Charles realised that molly had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He slowly moved so molly was lay on the sofa, she stirred a little but didn't wake, he fetched the ancient throw that his mum kept in the hall ottoman, he gently covered her and kissed her head she stirred a little but didn't wake.

Leaving molly downstairs so as not to wake her he turned the TV off and switched of the lamp by the side of the sofa he headed up to his own room. He left his door open a jar so he could hear if molly got up he climbed in to the bed and tried to sleep but he was concerned about molly

Molly tossed and turned trying to escape her dreams. The same dream playing over and over on a loop each time she tried to help and was frozen on the spot. It never ended it always was a real and anything like she was really back there and there was nothing she could do.


	2. Chapter 2

"molly ...molly" Charles whispered.

She was sat bolt up right muttering incoherently, still trapped inside her dream. Charles sat next to her knowing it was dangerous to wake some one who was trapped inside a night terror he just waited.

"I tried, I really tried" she sobbed and awoke gasping for air.

Charles pulled her close she was dripping with sweat but was freezing cold.

"molly are you okay" he asked

"I don't know" she said weakly

She nestled in to Charles arms . some how she felt safe with Charles around her.

"molly What happened"

"there was a explosion. We were on our way back to base and there was something in the middle of the road so 2 of the lads went to investigate and we were all covering. I couldn't move I couldn't help them they were all screaming and I couldn't help." She was sobbing big fat tears rolling down her cheeks.

"molly that's understandable" Charles kissed the top of her head.

"no" she continued to sob. "you don't understand I just stood there and watched I couldn't help anyone"

"molly you were in a war zone no one would blame you."

"I blame me. I should have helped it was my job."

"molly" he held her tighter. Some how she felt so small in his arms. Like a small child just wanting to be held "come on shall I make us both a hot chocolate and we go back to bed.

She nodded slowly and followed him in to the kitchen. She just wanted to be near him where she felt safe. It didn't take long for Charles to make the hot chocolates and they drank them in relative silence. He dumped both the mugs in the sink he would wash them up in the morning. he wrapped his arms around molly's shoulders and lead her upstairs. Molly fell asleep as soon as she climbed in to the bed. She lay cuddled against Charles. Where she felt most safe and the nightmares seemed to stay away.

Molly awoke to the smells of bacon and sausage wafting up the stairs. After stretching out and realising Charles was cooking breakfast down stairs she slipped out of bed and shoved her slippers and dressing gown on and went down to the kitchen.

"hey" she called from the kitchen door.

He turned to look at her "aw you spoilt my surprise I was going to bring you breakfast in bed"

"well I saved you the bother" she said hugging him from behind.

Charles handed her a mug of tea and placed a plate with a English breakfast of sausages bacon mushrooms beans and toast.

"mmm this looks lovely boss man you are going to male some one a lovely wifie one day" she laughed. As Charles poured himself a cup of coffee.

"so I though we could get away for a bit just relax and clear our heads."

"where did this come from" molly asked stuffing a bit of toast in her mouth

"well I though you might like a chance to escape reality and just relax"

"oaky so where did you have in mind" thinking of a tropical paradise or a island in the middle of nowhere.

"well I have got us a cottage in North Devon. Off the beaten track nice and cosy"

"oh cool" molly disclaimed a little underwhelmed. Devon in October was not her idea of fun. Everything would be cold and like a ghost town.

"it will be fun I promise" Charles said sensing her disappointment "it will be cosy and just the two of us, we can light the fire and snuggle under the blankets."

"I don't doubt that but Devon in October it will be freezing."

"on the other hand it will be quiet and not over run with screaming children running around"

"so how long did you have in mind for this break."

"well I have the cottage for as long as we want. Its my aunt kat's. She normally rents it out in the summer but has said as it is low season then we could stay for as long as we want." He smiled "oh and we are going tomorrow"

 **hope you are enjoying this and please leave a review and let me know what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

The following day was crisp and bright, and the sun was warm. Charles was driving along the M4 towards Bristol and the M5 which would take them in to Devon. Molly yawned and lay her head against the side of her seat.

"you all right Dawsey" he smiled

"fine just knackered. Why on earth did you get me up at a ungodly hour"

"err molly it was 9 am"

"yeah and..."

"molly Dawes you are one in a million" he laughed

It only took them a few hours to get to their destination of Ilfracombe in North Devon. Their cottage was at the bottom of the valley but was with in walking distance of the town and also a small beach cove at the bottom of the road.

Inside there was a small log burning fire that was already lit and waiting for them. As well as freshly baked bread and a large chocolate cake that had been baked by Charles aunt.

Molly was in awe of the place it was so beautiful and serene. A mix of country and coast all rolled in to one. The cottage its self was warm cosy and welcoming the whole place was beautiful inside and out.

"do you want a cup of tea and some cake" Charles called from the kitchen.

"oh yes please I am gagging for a brew. Molly replied from in front off the fire. She was watching the flames dance in side the stove. Charles handed her a mug of tea and a rather generous slice of chocolate cake.

"Charles I do kind a want to pass me next physical" she laughed when she saw the cake and its lashings of chocolate and cream crammed in-between the two sandwiches. But she wolfed it down faster than anything. " your aunt is a baking goddess this is delicious"

"so what do you think?" Charles asked

"well from what I have seen of the road and the house and the back garden its all right. But give me a chance I aint seen the town yet"

They walked in to town later that afternoon. It was a straightforward walk that took them in to town passed the harbour. Molly could make out the peer and the huge slightly bizarre statue that looked out to sea and dominated over the harbour. She could also see the aquarium and a small row of little "sea side " shops . the tide had just gone out leaving the sand wet and shiny with little dents and ridges. Lots of little boats were dotted up and down both sides of the walls. At the top of the harbour was the lifeboat station that served the local area.

Further in to town there was a little church and two other beaches. One of which you had to pay to get on the other was a mix of sand and large rocks with lots of rock pools. Looking out on to the beach was a Victorian promenade that housed a arcade fish and chip shop and more typical sea side shops that was in every seaside coast up and down the country.

"soooo how doo you like it?"

"Charles give me a chance to look around but I will tell you one thing its bloody freezing." Molly shivered.

"come on then shall we go and get some scoff and a hot drink?"

Molly dithered and nodded the cold wind blew through her. They headed over towards the little fish and chip shop, Charles ordered the classic fish chips and mushy peas and molly had a pie on account of not liking fish.

Though cold the afternoon was bright and crisp. They spent the rest of it exploring the town, the little museum that was over looking the coast and told of local maritime disasters, there was also a cliff top walk they could do but they left that for another day. They also explored the museum that was at the life boat station where they could also look at the life boat when it wasn't on a shout and learn all about the history of the RNLI in the local area.

They walked back to their cottage and explored the beach at the bottom of the road. It was a small sandy beach surrounded by cliffs the sort of beach that would have been a pirate cove in the history books. They sat on the small wall that separated the beach from the road and watched the sun set. Turning the sky a reddish orange, the sun glistening off of the waves on the calm seas.

Back at the cottage Charles lit the wood burning fire and they pair snuggled up on the sofa and watched the cheesy American Christmas films on the telly and listened to the gulls crying on the cliffs near by.

Molly awoke to the sound of the of the gulls screeching from above. She could hear that Charles was already up and down stairs. she stretched out in the bed feeling relaxed and refreshed as she had one of the best night sleeps she had had in a long time.

The morning was crisp and bright and a thin layer of morning dew covered the window. And the light breeze that blew up off the coast brought up a light misty rain up off of the sea. Molly pulled on her dressing-gown and went down stairs. She found that the wood burner had been lit and already filling the cottage with warmth. Charles was stood at the large range cooker in the kitchen cooking bacon and eggs as well as sausages. She hugged him from behind wrapping her arms around him and burring her face in to his back, taking the sent from his expensive shower gel. He turned to face her and she kissed him. He pulled her close and deepened the kiss.

"good morning Dawsey" he smiled. She looked refreshed and calmer than she had looked since coming back from tour.

"morning your self bossman" she giggled she was reminded of that date they had in Bath when he had told her his real name and was shocked when she giggled. Charles poured her a cup of tea from the pot he had made and placed a plate of breakfast in front of her.

"what are we going to do today?" molly asked cutting in to her toast.

"well I though we could go to the big town a few miles a way so we can get some shopping and bits. Its a really nice town"

"okay what ever. Sounds good" she smiled

Molly left Charles to do the washing up and went up to get showered and dressed. Form the window she could see the cliffs that surrounded the valley the road they were on ran through. In the light of the morning she could really see the beauty of the little seaside town

 **hope you like it. ilfracombe is a lovely town in north Devon where I spent many happy holidays as a child and love it. as it is almost remembrance Sunday hear in the uk then I would like to dedicate this story to all the woman who dedicate their lives to help defend their countries across the world it is also 100 years since woman were aloud in to the military in the uk all be it in roles on home soil and away from the front line combat roles. Duckmadgirl xx**


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